Pardon me
Please,
While I push
The world back into place
It’s kicked around, by
Thieves, liars and spies
I don't recognize it
So little grace
WAITING
What is present
But nevertheless, is
Elusive
Leaving the faintest trace
Only when I pause &
Become still
Can any new form
Take shape
Sometimes
Something happens
Sometimes
It doesn’t
Yet,
I wait
Waiting is half the fun
Tethered intimately
Conversing,
While wandering
The artistic & psychoanalytic
Each is poorer
Without the other
These poems and images
Become my artifacts
Of this lived life,
Found
Amongst the ordinary
I Am (in this order)
A man, artist, son, brother, husband, father, friend, psychoanalyst and former hitch-hiker. I hail from the woods of northern Minnesota, close to the great plains of the Dakotas. I emigrated to California 40 years ago. I am not young or old – nor middle aged.
I Was/I Am
I was/I am field worker (miles of sugar beets)
I was/I am a snow removal expert
I was/I m a paperboy (the Fargo Forum)
I was/I am a little league umpire (calling more balls than strikes)
I was/I am a hitchhiker (9,432 miles +/-)
I was/ I am a house painter (big and small)
I was/I am a tree planter (Big Horn Mountains)
I was/I am a carpenter (power tool & mashed thumbs)
I was/I am a dishwasher (Professionally)
I was/I am a janitor (the graveyard shift)
I was/I am a gardener (specializing in roses)
I was/I am a clown (but no fool)
I was/I am a machinist (cutting/threading 4” pipe
I was/I am an elevator worker (fabricated & assembled the damn things
I am an artist (photographic process)
I am a psychoanalyst (a considerer things)
I
The horizon line
Lived among us
Somewhere between
The river & the plain
It loomed large & loud
As if it held a promise
As if it held something new
II
Sugar beets
Fresh from the fields
Fell as silent
As the farmers who mothered them
Both were tougher
Than you’d think
Dirt clinging to their ruddy skins
As if birthed
From the same womb
III
Winter
Owns this zone
Freezing every grievance
Slinging arrows at the sun
Sending it into hiding
Stripping/ripping
Elm trees became naked babies
Glacial winds stung
IV
Cuddled in supper’s hour
Warmed by poems/spoken as prayers
Little voices
Mumbling & stumbling
Through the many choices
Birches
Or
Mending Wall
Or
The Road Not Taken
V
Yet the day
Remained
Unforgivingly gray
VI
Upstream
Along the river’s edge
In the oldest home
Rotted by flood
With too little paint
A young one died from TB
Another ran to swim
A homerun away
Broke his neck
While diving into his dreams
VII
The river ran north
Away from us
Long before TB,
Baseball
&
The wading pool
On the western edge
The fog began to lift
And the town folk
Rubbed the dew
From their morning eyes
After their shift
At night
The river gorges itself
Separating two states
Deeply and
Without, regret.
Through the mist
One can barely
Sense the other.
One side dry
Dull and flat
The other
A little less so
The wheat, only ankle high
The oldest Grandmother
Cried out “…………
Don’t be lulled ……………..
It’s Mean, nasty and quick
It’ll take ya ……………..….
Like a lizard licks a fly……...
It’s serpentine ……………...”
If the river was so dangerous
Why did we live at its edge
To watch our lives float by
Across the bend
And down stream
The oldest homes rotted by time
And too little paint
The young ones died from TB
Children use to play
A home run away
One of them broke their neck
Diving into their dreams.
The river runs north
Long before TB,
Baseball and the wading pool
This one
Sits very still For days & days
This one Lost all Her keys
This one
Watches traffic For entertainment
This one Lost
Her melody
This one Can barely Feed herself
This one
Sleeps & Messes her pant
This one
Is not the Momma, I know
Yet,
This one’s voice Always ... always Turns my ear.
Who is this boy ……………………
This boy ……
Was it the distance
Of love’s milk
Sending his moon into retrograde
With fermented fruit
Leaving a taste
He couldn’t
Or
Wouldn’t
Spit out &
Feared to swallow
Making him
So
Sour
under a spell
the nearby moon
cascaded a faint scent &
tributaries begin flow
in the same direction
like an ancient family bloodline
sending out a solitude
enveloping us
in a whispery wonder
it was overwhelming
each time you said my name
over over & over again
before
dropping my hand
for the pleasure of it &
turned this mouth
into a fallen crescent
now, many moons later
I began a different life
living among men
with reasons
to weep
from inner chambers
of the heart &
parlors of this mind
Or
is this just a lunar phase
returning me to the tides
as if we were friends &
were created for each other
more or less
This is the 37th day &
The tires
Are nearly worn
Pull over to rest
And rest
And rest
But not tomorrow
Nor the next
Or the next after the next
The horizon line
Teases
How do you,
Do it
Wake with a grin
By anyone’s measure
By anyone’s measure
This day and I
Were tired, our
Bone beaten sucked dry
By every everything
Not a whisper was left
No breath to sing
Late in the afternoon
Late in the afternoon
Friend from way back
Holding sour grapes
Called in his chips
Requesting an errand
Good-bye, coppery sunlight
The day and I told ourselves
It was more of a stopover
Than a destination, and searched
For another vein of courage
We had a nose for such things
While being on the lookout
For ambushes and sabotages
Our voices suddenly choked, and
Captured our attention
While waiting
We wondered
Is this where it all came from
No longer elegant, but just
Strange
Quite, odd
This moment was not for us
We yearned for a hermitage, and
This was just the first night
Someone,
Please
Tell us how it ends
Leaving the life once lived
How many skins
Must be shed
Down the back road
Tripping on gravel &
Traversing the ditch
Stinging nettle waits
Before meeting the bog
Deep, dark and muddy
The bottom invites
Sinking through time
Visiting joys, tears, regrets
Grand children, never known.
What is calling forth
Turn left or right
South towards warmth
North towards cold
East or west
Leaving a life once lived
Many skins
Have been shed
Leaving little resemblance
At the break of dawn
The future arrived
A speckle from the horizon
After years at sea
It’s approach
Was ner’sail-less, yet
Enough wind
Blew it into port
Its size had changed
No worse for the wear
The pilot’s light flickered
From bright to dim to bright
Before the day’s last light
The bunk was readied
The ship slipped it’s slip, and
Faded from sight, again.
There are songbirds
That live near-by &
Whom I count as friends
Will they sing goodbye
When our time together
Comes to an end
To this flock
This I ask
Sing high …sing low
Continue to swoop, dart
Chase & play
Until you too, must go
No need to follow
My feathery friends
It is … okay
This, my fate
Somewhere
Other songbirds wait
………………….
…………………
Oh, oh, silly, silly me
These little darlin’s
Pay no heed
Too too busy
No time
Nota swoop … nota dart
Doing their doings
Way way way
Too free
In their flutters
Do they seem to say
Get yer head
Outa yer hands
Dust yer self off
Get on … get on
Get on with yer day
So I must
So I will &
Tie this shoe
Stumbling good-bye
A little anew
Something is wrong
&
Something is missing
&
Beyond reach
&
Eluding grasp
&
Words …
&
Nowhere near
&
Way … way
On the other side
Of somewhere
&
Beyond sight &
Thinning air
This ... this ... thing
Fails to breathe
Before it could
Begin
Because … because
Something is missing
Read MoreSomeone’s child
Slept outside &
Looked at me
Someone’s child
Sits down
Says not-a-word
Someone’s child
Isn’t happy
About anything
Someone’s child
Maimed another
No-no-no
Someone’s child
Said never again
But did
Someone’s child
Never came home
Why why why
Someone’s child
Kissed another
Again again & again
Someone’s child
Smiled at me &
I at them
Someone’s child
Is here
Right now
Someone’s child
Is no longer
Anywhere
Someone’s child
Isn’t wanted
Come closer
The sunset
Some time ago &
The crickets
Awaken the stars
Pearly aglow
Now, sadly
Hanging low
Dust wafts in
Tickling memories
Loving friends
Dead or dangerous
&
Couldn’t be saved
So, so sorry
You are
Now Waaaay
Over there
It’s a son-of-a-bitch
Isn't it
I miss my friends
Read MoreSleep
Where are you
My yawns & silent sighs
Call you out, while
Hours & hours
Slip by
Please
Any minutes
Will do
Sleep
The sheep are loose
No moon to jump
The bedding’s crumpled
My partner
Long, long
Gone
Alone once more
Ahhaaaaaaag
Sleep
Protect me
Inject
The squid’s black ink &
Slip away
Taken down
To the darkest dark
Among the bottom crawlers &
Nevertobeseen til when
Sleep
Just as the night
Puts the day to bed
Here,
Night seldom comes
You tease
Showing yourself
In the slumber
Of the babe
I smell
Sleep
Are you not the gentlest
Or are you
The shady agent
One who starves
I know not which
Should gravity stop to breathe
Stillness becomes a must &
The heavens unleash
A new orbit
Tearing a hole
Pausing memory
As if it were a shield
This wilderness is loose
A wildly beating beauty
Falling becomes a rising
Rising/falling
Falling/rising
Rising/falling
Is it a revelation
A lucky chance, or
Patient research
Birthing this notion
Its’ precise vision
Despite the weight
Breathing
Wobbly
Like anything
Just born
Yet, quintessentially,
More cheery
Than accumulated years
Of living a tainted life
Once,
Having stopped
To look
People like us
Lively outsiders
Finding breath
In another’s eyes
Is revolutionary
Is legendary
Protecting everything
Even lunacy
Submission is complex
As the clock ticks
The serpent
Conscientiously counts &
Waiting to step closer
When morning comes
&
Ceases the night
Only then, can
Feathered bosoms
Rest & gossip
While holding
What cannot
Yet
Be
Known.